Why I Truly Smile
by Serii-pyon
Summary: Why the does she always smile? It’s really irritating me. How can she manage to be happy even if the whole world is against her? even so, she still has friends to turn to,But How?Is it because she’s cheery?Or is it… Because of her smile? Maybe it is.
1. Thoughts

**Disclaimer:** I do not own this anime, song, and disclaimer note.

**A/N: **this story's kinda fast paced and I started it with Natsume hating Mikan smiling and all. Do you think it's okay or it lacks detail or anything? If so just tell me please! ( I hope you can do so in a nice way at least.) actually I was inspired to write this by some text quotes ( I'm sure Filipinos like me know this :D) actually you can generally say that they're quotes. I was also inspired by the song Blue Sky by Hale. I know it's a boy band and all, but if you look at the lyrics I think it fits it for Mikan singing it to Natsume.

**Warning:** Natsume can get OOC here, and so does Mikan. She actually becomes mature here XD.

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/Natsume's POV/

_Why the hell does she always smile? It's really irritating me. How can she manage to be happy even if the whole world is against her?_

_Even if I snap at her,_

_Even if Imai avoids her,_

_Even if no one accepts her as someone with a real Alice,_

_Even if she's really bad at her studies, she still has friends to turn to,_

_But why?_

_How?_

_Is it because she's cheery?_

_Or is it…_

_Because of her smile?_

_I guess so._

_But…_

_How is that possible?_

_How is she able to stand again after so many blows have been given to her?_

_How can she even manage to smile at that person that hurts her so much…_

_Namely me._

_I hate it. I hate her smile._

_She goes on with her life as if nothing happened._

_I hate it…_

_Maybe because…_

_I envy her._

_Inside me I really want to smile._

_But I know it'll just mess things up._

'_Cause I have no right…_

… _no right to be happy._

/End POV/

"Natsume!!!!" Mikan screamed to a particular raven-haired boy who covered his face with a manga.

"WHAT?!" he screamed with anger, probably because he was 'disturbed' from his deep thoughts.

"Wanna go to Central Town with us now?"

"NO." he screamed in Mikan's ear in exchange of the disturbance.

"No need to scream!"

Before she could make another remark, Natsume already ran out

"What's with him?" Mikan asks herself. _He must be high today._ She thought to herself.

_I…_

_Shouldn't remember…_

_I shouldn't be happy._

_And I shouldn't cry._

_I need…_

_To hold back_

These were Natsume's thoughts as he ran passed and wiped his empty tears away.

"Maybe I should run after him." said Mikan as she followed where Natsume was headed.

She apologized to Ruka and Hotaru before she made a run for it.

…Tbc…

A/N: okay, so that's it for this chapter, and this fic is only going to be a two-shot, so it'll only be short. So anyway, next chapter Mikan sings something to Natsume, so tune in! and i'll make the other chappie longer.

-arigatou for reading!

-celz


	2. Dance of the Cherry Blossoms

A/N: so here it is, the second chappie!

I dedicate this chappie to:

**RiaFan: **as promised I'll dedicate this chapter to you

Anyway here's the chapter with the lyrics of Blue Sky! This is also the chapter which I used the quotes on. And try to listen to the song one time and just imagine Mikan singing it :P XD.

PS: I never intended Natsume to sound GAY/ OOC. Sorry folks. I'll try to make it up to you guys somehow…

How 'bout chocolate? wide grin xD

PSS: sorry it took me a longer time to upload than usual, mainly because my parents sorta lika force me into going with them. And the other reason, the very culprit of the crime I committed: I'm TOO LAZY. --;

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_She's still the idiot I've known 5 years ago._

_But then, she'll never change, will she?_

_Though I wish she wouldn't, even if I hate her smiling,_

_Why?_

_Because for some reason it keeps me going._

_It made me realize,_

_That everyone is different,_

_And she made me different._

_But then, what keeps her going?_

_How the hell can she be happy after all that?_

_How is she able to smile so much._

_I am being totally vague._

_But who cares._

…

_Just my luck._

_She came._

"Natsume!!!!!!!!!!!" a brunette screamed at the top of her lungs while running to their favorite spot, the Sakura tree.

_Nothing HAS changed._

_She's still the idiot who wears polka-dotted panties._

He smirked at the last thought.

"Natsume!!!!!"

"Stop screaming will 'ya? And stop running, your underwear's too sickening too see."

"You PERVERT. WHATTA **DISGRACE**. You must be GAY." Said Mikan while sticking her tongue out to hide her sadness. She's been having a bad day and he's making it worse.

_What did she just say? GAY? Does she even know what that means?_

Natsume just rolled his eyes in reply.

"Besides, why did you just run off like that? SHEESH. You must be on drugs or something."

Natsume just ignored the comment and changed the topic.

"Why do you always have to smile?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me little girl." He said in reply to her naïveté.

_Why is he asking me NOW? After Jinno-sensei gave me a tower more of homework more than usual_

"I am NOT a LITTLE girl anymore!!! And besides, even if I really had a bad day, even if the world gives me a hundred reasons to feel upset, I smile. Because even so, the world can give you a thousand reasons to smile. You just need to decide if you'll be happy or not. There's this song that goes…

_is she actually going to sing it to me? Now?_

And Mikan sings…

_When do stars fade their light?  
Does the moon and the sun make it right   
For you the world maybe  
Like an endless storm chasing a mystery_

Is there hate in your heart?  
Does your body drop and tell you to stop  
Loving you or loving me  
When it all falls down you just sing with me

Coz there's a blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Waiting tomorrow shining and shimmering  
A blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Waiting tomorrow  
Maybe it's all we need

Oh don't you wash away that smile  
You just look out the window and see the light  
It's beautiful to be alive  
It's wonderful to live a life

The sun is sure to shine  
For you and me for everyone  
So don't be sad it's just the start  
Of a new beginning in your life

There's a blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Waiting tomorrow shining and shimmering  
A blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Waiting tomorrow  
Maybe it's all we need 

Rain will keep on pouring  
Some things you can't control   
And while the sun seems far and hard to hold  
It will ...unfold

There will always be a blue sky  
A blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Full of..hope..yeah  
Full of hope yeah

Coz there's a blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Waiting tomorrow shining and shimmering  
A blue sky waiting tomorrow  
Waiting tomorrow   
Maybe it's all we need

"Natsume…" Mikan turned to look at the boy, but he didn't flinch. He was just staring of to the ground while his bangs covered his eyes and remained in his seated position. But still she continued to ask.

"Natsume…tell me what's the matter…" she said in a voice so gentle.

_No way._

_I can't show any weakness, no._

_Not to a girl._

_Not to her._

"Natsume… this is why I'm here. To talk to you when something goes wrong. To be close to you even though you always push me away. So tell me, what's wrong?"

_right there and then…_

_The one who burned a whole village…_

_The dangerous ability…_

_The one who is supposed to bring bad luck…_

_Hugged Mikan Sakura._

Which made her fall to her knees as Natsume was seated as he did so

Mikan hugged him back.

And for the first time, Natsume Hyuuga spoke to her crying. Although he didn't show it as his face was buried in her shoulder. It was evident in his shaky voice. I mean, hearing Natsume crying is not something you see everyday, unlike Mikan thought it was awkward, but the hell with it. It was Natsume and he was about to tell her something important.

"Everything."

"Huh?" Mikan asked the latter, forgetting that it was about what she asked earlier.

"Everything was wrong… until the day you came."

Natsume's words hit Mikan full-force. She expected a talk, yes, but this? Certainly not. Even for Mikan.

She was speechless.

And Natsume was, too.

"So tell me, what drove you to ask me that question?" Mikan said while trying to change the topic of discussion.

"Your smile."

And once more, Mikan was speechless. No words were needed after that.

Only the dance of the cherry blossoms that whirled around them could express the two students' feelings at that moment

_A lot of feelings… but at the same time,_

_Somehow,_

_It makes the two of them happy._

" to tell you the truth Natsume…" she suddenly broke the deafening silence around them.

"…sure I smile whenever Hotaru's around…

but then… maybe the reason why I'm always happy…

was maybe because of you.

you always seem so sad and lonely.

You always bear the pain you shouldn't endure.

So maybe that's why.

I smile because of you. seeing that you won't smile, I do the opposite. As I sign that I promise that one day I will be able to make you happy. Because seeing you happy makes me happy as well.

I promise…

It might not be soon, but I promise."

And Natsume broke her embrace…

She looked at her,

Before finally smiling.

"Does this make you happy then?"

Mikan nodded and shot him back a smile.

And again, deafening silence enthralled them.

And more cherry blossoms twirled into the dance.

_Somehow…_

_Somehow from now on…_

_I think I'll get used to her smile._

end

A/N: DONE! I'm sorry if the ending was crappy. I know I'm not like the other authors who do amazingly well for beginners. But then I did what I can do. I know my best wasn't enough… so I'll gladly accept your flames… I seriously need advice!! HELP! Tell me if I should quit or something!

And I'm really sorry to RiaFan, whom I dedicated this chappie for..

If it wasn't so good, I'm sorry.

SOMEONE SEND ME COMPANY!!! And chocolate would be nice.

DON'T SUCK LIKE ME!!! (hmm… different punchline this time…)

TT celz TT


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